I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to
But i always tell the truth,
Even when I lie.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Woke up yesterday feeling asleep ( ever get the feeling when you're awake yet your mind is still going through REM (rapid eye movement) ). My eyes had a stinging sensation unlike any other i felt before. This was attributed to the fact that i slept at like 0430 and got up at 0630. Haven't been sleeping much since Nov 16th ( the day my life failed me ).
Oh well!
Life goes on i suppose. Didn't feel much like going to school, but my dad's persistence in waking me proved to be too irritating for me to go back to sleep. Besides I had an Enterprise Skills test. DDDDDRRRRRRAAAAAGGGGEEEEDDD MMMMYYYYSSSSEEEELLLLFFFF OOOOUUUTTTTAAAA BBBBBEEEDDDD.
School was alright.
I realised that when faced with problems, I need to be around people. Left alone, I'd do the honours of tearing myself apart emotionally. So school now is an escape from reality for me..........Just wonder how long it'll last. My test was great since I have a good accounting background from secondary school. God help those in my class who don't have this advantage as I deem it would be a very challenging one if not for my background.
Dad picked me from school around 1520. Brought me home. Not before going through his daily sermon about life and what not. Kinda irritated me to hear the same thing again.
But isn't that human nature?? Don't we all detest repetition of our mistakes and worse others telling us not to do it again and bla bla bla.
Maybe, it's just the pride in me shining.
Picked Noel and Gloria from home to go to the club, but i managed to set up my laptop to download White Chicks before we left. Later when we got home around 2200 i realised that only 2% of the movie was downloaded. And the climax hit me when i previewed it...................
PORN!!! LOLX.
My gym session at the club was below average. I mean i felt i had a great workout, but I simply couldn't MAX OUT each rep and set. Guess the teeth gritting motivation I had to lift more than I could has been diminishing along with the truck load of problems I'm facing.
Believe me when problems knock the door, I feel that the only motivation I have is the motivation to be depressed.
The only weights I can lift then are those bar weight a.k.a beer mugs. Shit manz just realised I haven't drank for 6 days!!!
Went to bed at 2230. Slept at around 0300. Woke at 0655.
So close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
never opened myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters
trust I seek and I find in you
every day for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know
so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know
never opened myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters
trust I seek and I find in you
every day for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know
so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
no nothing else matters
Finally Free
Hypnotherapist:
"You are once again surrounded by a brilliant white light. Allow the light to lead you away from your past and into this lifetime. As the light dissipates you will slowly fade back into consciousness remembering all you have learned. When I tell you to open your eyes you will return to the present, feeling peaceful and refreshed. Open your eyes, Nicholas."
The Miracle:
Friday evening
The blood still on my hands
To think that she would leave me now
For that ungrateful man
Sole survivor
No witness to the crime
I must act fast to cover up
I think that there's still time
He'd seem hopeless and lost with this note
They'll buy into the words that I wrote
"This feeling inside me
Finally found my love, I've finally broke free
No longer torn in two
I'd take my own life before losing you"
Victoria:
Feeling good this Friday afternoon
I ran into Julian
Said we'd get together soon
He's always had my heart
He needs to know
I'll break free of the Miracle
It's time for him to go
This feeling inside me
Finally found my love, I've finally broke free
No longer torn in two
He'd kill his brother if he only knew
Their love renewed
They'd rendezvous
In a pathway out of view
They thought no one knew
Then came a shot out of the night
The Sleeper:
One last time
We'll lay down today
One last time
Until we fade away
One last time
We'll lay down today
One last time
We fade away
As their bodies lie still
And the ending draws near
Spirits rise through the air
All their fears disappear, it all becomes clear
A blinding light comes into view
An old soul exchanged for a new
A familiar voice comes shining through
Nicholas:
This feeling inside me
Finally found my life, I'm finally free
No longer torn in two
I learned about my life by living through you
This feeling inside me
Finally found my life, I'm finally free
No longer torn in two
Living my own life by learning from you
We'll meet again my friend someday soon
CNN report:
"news in London, France, Russia and Italy have deleted their lead story, all anticipating the outcome of the man considered to be a member of American nobility. And as you can imagine, as the skies have grown darker here over Washington, the mood has grown darker as well and people here are beginning to resign themselves to the possibility that they are witnessing yet another tragedy in a long string of misfortunes. Reaction from everywhere, from Washington and certainly from around the world has gues..."
Hypnotherapist:
"Open your eyes, Nicholas."
Nicholas:
"AAAH!"
Cannonball
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still I can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
